Gormenghast Read-Along Review: Titus Groan

This spring, I read the Gormenghast series. Did I love it? Did I hate it? I don’t know. I only know it’s lodged in me forever now, like an inoperable tumour that will certainly kill me. Since my read-along was scattered over a lot of twitter threads and since I have now locked my twitter, I thought it best to gather the whole journey for you here. (‘Best for who?’, you may ask.) The following are my tweets, unless otherwise noted. Think of it as something like an epistolary novel. Only shite. Relive the process of discovery with me!!

BOOK ONE: TITUS GROAN

  • @MollyRKatz: this is my conclusive proof Prunesquallor has a fake woke twitter account

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Me: damning, irrefutable.

[We would like to retroactively apologize to Dr Prune, a soft man who did not deserve this.]

  • Kickstarter to give Gormenghast to the National Trust who’ll fucking clean it.
  • This book is so frustrating I’ve spent 100 pages like ‘what if soap?’
  • No one warned me reading Gormenghast was gonna throw up this Dido/Aeneas cave thirst trap scene jiggly jesus

[Jurassic Park gif of man slowly putting on his glasses]

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  • I hope this fuckferret trips.

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  • Peake is just fucking with me now

 

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  • The Earl of Gormenghast: I’m the night owl!! 🌚🦉
    me: *extremely cheating to the 4th wall even though I am reading a book*
  • I’m sorry he’s the death owl sorry everybody
  • Making Molly choose her Dream Date: Willie Collins vs Mervyn Peake.

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And that’s what patriarchy feels like.

  • Mescaline is a hell of a drug

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  • Nah babe, this sentence sucks, wyd?

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  • You know, Petherbridge would have done well for Prunesquallor.
  • Right so we’ve now had a solid 2 pages on how Peake does not personally like summer, it is not his favourite season, no. Things I could have guessed for £200, Alex.
  • Peake is a basic goth news at never in this timeless netherworld which mirrors society and also his dark soul
  • ‘The fat man moved like an obese woman’ Melvyn stop ✋🛑
  • Oh that fuckin death owl is back. Ca-caw motherfuckers. 💀🦉
  • Get a job, Sepulchrave. 💀🦉  is not a real job it’s like Innovation Disruptor. 
  • Listen buddy I have depression too&once I lost all the data on my laptop it was real sad but I didn’t become a 💀🦉about it or any weak shit like that.
  • Whelp idk how that ho died. Did he jump? Did birds eat him alive? Did he just decide to do it&clock out, no cause necessary? Bye, somehow. I guess.
  • What colour is any given object in Titus Groan?

8% Grey

0% Still grey

25% somehow rancid jewel tone

67% Shouldn’t be grey: is

  • I have £1 on baby Titus growing up to schtupp Keda’s conveniently-aged daughter. [A/N I am NEVER wrong.]
  • You may not like my grotesquely distended jiggling pale body, but this is what Peake Performance looks like.

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